The Beekeeper

A good logline tells you everything.

“Expose the corruption. Protect the hive.”
When I saw this on a billboard with Jason Statham staring pensively into the distance, his body inexplicably dissolving into a swarm of bees, I knew The Beekeeper would be perfect. At least, perfect for me.

Now, this is the third web log post on my “professional” website (where I’m sending hiring manager). And you know what? I fully understand this Statham vehicle might rise to “mid” in the critical landscape at best. But I’m not gonna sit here and lie to you about having erudite taste (well, except for ostentatious words). That’s not me. Heck, I recently saw The Boy and the Heron and walked away with a big ol’ “huh.”

But, dang, The Beekeeper doesn’t waste a second of your time, jumping into its ridiculous hole-filled plot. Turns out, some corruption happened to Statham’s landlord and now the hive needs protecting via murderous rampage across Massachusetts. I’d spoil the ending, but you already know it.

Is this an homage to the action films of yore? Somewhat. There’s some solid one-liners, a couple of intense set pieces, and just enough bee metaphors to keep you laughing at how ridiculous the concept of a secret society of John Wick–level trained killers called the Beekeepers is. Heck, nothing about the organization necessitates the actual keeping of bees. But Statham’s character chose to spend his retirement tending hives and filling jars with honey. (Yes, his character comes out of retirement to run amok across New England.)

Oh, and did you know that honey is flammable? It might not be the most efficient accelerant, but it’s truly the most poignant. The antagonists aren’t complicated, painted in such a despicable light that you can’t help but enjoy their comeuppance. Jeremy Irons brings gravitas to the periphery of the melee. But it’s the Statham of it all that carries this cinematic marvel to its predictable end.

It’s dumb in the most brilliant way possible. It’s not trying to be in on its own joke a la Sharknado, it’s its own tale of defending the weak against those who would seek to prey upon them. And it’s wonderfully entertaining to watch one man quip his way through the demise of thugs, FBI agents, and international hired hitmen.

Plus, it’s left me with a new raison d’être: Expose the corruption. Protect the hive.